Top 10 best/worst onboarding war stories as submitted via Twitter

Thank you for sharing your best and worst onboarding stories via Twitter. Below are the Top 5 onboarding stories, as submitted by you.

#5 – When I arrived, there a welcome banner on my pc for my first day, and then the whole team went out to lunch. I got a great feeling about the company and felt very valued and welcomed.

#4 - Three days into my new job, my company was acquired by another company. 5 days in, I was told I had to reapply for my job.

#3 - Went to work on my first day and as I opened the door, fell on my face and spilt coffee all over my boss. Very embarrassed!

#2 - Arrived Day 1 in suit and tie and everyone else in casual dress. What a dork. Thx 4 letting me know the dress code.

The winning entry by James Caldwell @cluemark: #1 - I joined a new start up project and before my contract start date I was given a welcome basket of goodies (nuts, chocolates,booze, etc.)..the value of which was deducted from my first pay(: Congratulations to James who wins a double-pass to Village Gold Class cinemas.

Brave the Metrics Madness

Kyle Lagunas, HR Analyst at Software Advice where this article was originally published discusses metrics for on boarding ROI.

Business leaders are aggressively looking for strategies to increase their organization’s output while keeping staffing costs in check. HR metrics are a hot topic, as they have become the key to making the most of an organization’s people. Of all the potential strategies for maximizing ROI, an improved on boarding process is one area worth investing in. Why? Because ensuring the new talent you hire is prepared to succeed from day one is critical to engagement and productivity.

Onboarding Strategies for Getting Seasonal Workers Up to Speed

Republished from Kyle Lagunas, HR Analyst at Software Advice

During peak periods - around the holidays, tax season or over the summer - it’s critical that businesses can easily manage the addition of temporary employees and quickly get them up to speed. And from recruiting and training to offboarding, seasonal employees can put your human resources software and processes to the test. Not only do you have to find and hire the right people, you have a very short time to train them and get them connected to your organization.

Tweet your new employee war stories

Share your best/worst onboarding experience and WIN a double-pass to Village Gold class

Ever joined a company and been welcomed in such a way that was either so incredibly good or terribly bad? We want to hear it. Affirm Software are giving away a double-pass to Village Gold Class cinemas in return for sharing with us your best or worst experience as a brand new employee at a company.

Comment below with your story or interact with us via Twitter.

The stories we like will be re-tweeted and a winner chosen. To be eligible for the prize, you must use the hashtag #affirmcomp.

The competition will run until 5:00pm AEDST on Friday 16th December 2011. The winner will be announced via Twitter, so follow us to see if its you. Follow us via @affirmsoftware

Disclaimers: When tweeting your stories, it is highly recommended you change the names of people and companies to protect the innocent (and the guilty).